FRIENDS WHO ARE THEY AND WHAT ARE THEY?

JOHN 15.13-15

13.’’Greater love hath no man than this, that a man may lay down his life for his friends

14. You are my friends; if ye do whatsoever, I command you

15. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth, but I have called you friends; for all things I have heard of my father I have made known unto you’’.

JAMES 2.23

‘’And the scripture was fulfilled which saith Abraham believed God and it was imputed unto him for righteousness and he was called the friend of God’.

 

‘’Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another ‘’what! You too? I thought I was the only the one’’. C. S. LEWIS

‘’Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me: I may not follow, just walk beside me and be my friend’’. Albert Camns

‘’It is not lack love, but a lack friendship that makes unhappy marriages’’ Friedrich Nietzsche

‘’It is the friends you can call up at 4 am that matter’’ Marlene Dietrich

‘’A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still gently allows you to grow’’.

William Shakespeare.

Allow me to say these words that come to my heart on Monday 12^th November 2012 at 06.28am

‘’Salvation is not an ornament to be secured in a treasure, rather a tool for daily assignment. It is not a bald head to be covered from the scorching sun, but an airport for the landing of both small and small aircrafts. It therefore has to be commercially constructed and routinely [daily] maintained. It is not meant for safe landing but to sustain you in the atmosphere as you soar on high’’. Geoffrey Douglas Otuko

Your friends are the sublime summary of yourself if you have any

Who is your friend and do you know them?

Some cling to you because of what benefits they draw from you. Outwardly you dance with them, but inwardly they strange bed fellows

You can profess to be a friend but not posses friendship

Who is a friend?

It is one joined to another in the intimacy and mutual benevolence independently of sexual or family love.

A friend is a:-

1.     Sympathizer

2.     Helper

3.     Patron

There two classes of friends:-

1.     Good and bad friends

2.     False and true friends

What kind of friend are you or who do they say you are?

Being a good friend is not just about having some good time with others.

It is also about how willing you are to put your friend’s interests before yours

Or point out when they are doing things you do not agree with

Characteristics of a friend

1.     A good listener

Jesus listened to his disciples

He did listen to the Samaritan woman John 4

Jesus listened to the woman caught in the act of adultery John 8.4

2.     He is approachable

‘’And their nobles shall be of themselves, and their governor shall proceed from the midst of them; and I will cause him to draw near, and he shall approach unto me: for who is this that engaged his heart to approach unto me? Saith the lord

3.     He is trustworthy.

Proverbs 11.13 A tale bearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth a matter

Are you reliable as a confidant? Or you are the type who says nikwambie na usi ambie mtu. Hii ni siri yangu na wewe "Let me tell you and tell not some one else"

4.     Avoids gossiping about others

Proverbs 16.28 A froward man soweth strife: and a gossiper separates chief friends.

The guiding principle here is that I must reduce and Jesus increase. No michuzi ya chini kwa chini

Surrender to Jesus and learn to be at his mercy at all times, not some times

5.     Is selfless and not selfish

This is exactly what Abraham thrived on to be called a friend of God

Kujitolea si rahisi you will be called names, pretender, anajipendekeza etc.

How less are you of yourself?

People are so full of self whenever given an opportunity to speak they are just good at playing their own drums.

Stop being the manager of your life and allow Jesus room to manipulate you.

6.     Sensitively tells a friend what you really think

Many friends are not genuine

They play hide and seek with the truth

And some of us truth is elusive on our paths because we cannot stand it

In fact many Christians tell them the truth and the friendship just melts away.

Question do you deserve any truth?

And what relevance do you bring to any relationship

Many friendship have died simply because it was skewed towards one side

Say the contrary and you are divorced.

It is time we stopped this beauty based gospel

The scales have to be scrapped pain felt and cleanliness attained

Friends, tuwache kudanganyana!

Qualities of a good friend

1.     Takes a genuine interest in others

John 15.14 ‘ Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you’.

Here there is no choice, want to be on the winning side, play ball

2.     Is a Giver not taker

1Sam18.3-4 ‘Then Jonathan and David, made a covenant, because, he loved him as his soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle’’.

John 15.13 ‘Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life

Friends.

If Jesus did it who are you?

Why are some of us so mechanical that bowing to Jesus is an issue and if it is a deal we talk in low tones so long as you are alone

This is how shallow our minds

One thing I dare say ‘’be sure your sin will catch you’’!

3.     Loyalty

The best example is that of Jonathan and David in 1Sam 18.1-4

By this I don’t mean bending rules in favor of some and others have to follow protocol.

This is one the areas when we get to heaven some of us will be given the best shanty ever found here on the planet and the people we despised get mansion

Loyalty is no license to feeling BIG SYNDROME

I deserve special gifts and others deserve crumbs, because I am better positioned, more qualified than them

Does your friendship show through your loyalty or vise versa?

4.     Be positive

This is a very rare gem

Most of us are very skeptic

Just ask us how the elections will turn out and you will hear all the un-orthodox answers in this world.

And here I am talking about believers

Where are the Elijahs that called fire from heaven and it came?

The Joshua’s who commanded the sun and it stood still?

Friends it is time we ceased being jokers and became fully BELIEVERS!

5.     Appreciate the difference in others

Jesus’ disciples was a mixed crop

He believed in diversity

There were tax collectors, fishermen and even doctors

Variety is the spin of life

God created different personalities, talents and interests.

Each of us is special; together as a blend we form the body of Christ.

There is no Mr. /Mrs. special or better endowed.

1Corinthians 12.18-25 best captures this principle

Along with variety of personality comes variety of faults

Colossians 3.13 ‘forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man has a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye’’.

6.     Build on common interests

John 15.14 ‘’ ye are my friends if ye do what I command you’’.

Common goals objectives, drives and passions draw similar characters together.

What is it the draws you to your friends?

 Are you a parasite or a symbiotic?

Tuwache urafiki wa unyonyaji!

Doing what I have been commanded by my commanding officer is what common interest is all about.

By the way salvation is not about myself, but how much the common blood of Jesus, his forgiveness, grace and favor is achieving daily in my life.

What drew you to Jesus?

Healing, wife, a job

What is it?

Can you objectively point out?

These are good questions to ask ourselves!

7.     Be open, Honest and Real, not a malingerer

John15.16 ‘ Jesus said you have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you , that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and your fruit should remain: that whatsoever you shall ask of the father in my name, he may give you’’.

Pretenders, joy riders pace setters and bench warmers are not invited!

Good friendship is Genuine, without ill feelings or even hard feelings.

Friends and I mean friend are not envious of the success of their buddies only pretenders do and they are so many in the church today.

People are missing heaven not that they have not heard the word but simply by looking the other side.

This is a true saying

You cannot be a good/ enviable couple if you are first not good friends

And this you can take to the bank

No wonder the government has decided to marry some of us by force.

Because people are very crafty, looking for the closest narrow bend to break

It is time you decided on the caliber of your friendship with Jesus

This is not a chance game, BONYEZA USHINDE.

Here faith and not feelings have to be seen to be at work!

James 2.23

And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend if God.

Notice that word friend has a capital F.

LAYING EMPHASES ON HOW SERIOUSLY God took that relationship to be.

May you become a better friend from this hour!

May the history records be written bearing your name that you became Friends with God in you home, work place and even church?

Friends are built out of character

Character is who you are when those who know you are absent and you are your real self

Some one said

When Wealth is lost Nothing is Lost

When Health is Lost Something is Lost

But when Character is Lost Everything is Lost

Character is funny it camouflages sin

It insulates sin so that sin cannot be seen

Analyze what your friends think about you, Think about you and Enjoy doing

Most our decisions are influenced by our friends

If your mother cannot speak well about you, it does not matter what we do hear from other quarters.

I wish we had CCTV in every area of our lives and see how many of us could fair when a replay is done.

The Strength of character may be obtained at work but the beauty of character can only be learnt at home

 Friends are a gem, not everyone will accept you the way you are. Most would love to micro-manage you.

But you are unique with your strengths, failures, weaknesses, stature etc.

Friendship is a choice. James 4.4-5

Do not take for granted the grace God has given to your friends for them to humble before you

Some could be very great people, but because of humbling you are able to grow together

It therefore follows that there is no room for arrogance, pride etc.

Remember today you are hear and like a flower, tomorrow you are dried up

As you sit down here this morning, think about this:-

1.     Of these qualities what is my match?

2.     Have I been a true friend or a camouflaged one?

3.     Do I contain friendship material?

4.     What are the areas in my life do I need to start working on right right away?

5.     Do I qualify to be called a friend of God?

Proverbs 16.7

‘’When a mans’ ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him’’

Jesus is the only friend that appears when the whole world is closed on you as happened with Daniel’s friends in the furnace.

He appeared there as the forth person rendering recognition even to the pagan ruler.

Has he been evident in your life to the outside world?

This one you can ably answer.

And like God friends are not statues, they speak either way into our lives.
            

And may Jehovah add blessings to his word

Amen!!